Offline vw66.lovebugfans

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Re: Dean Jones... Reply 09/02/15

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  1. avatar


    User Infostatus offline44 Points


    Cultural Differences On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of South Pacific, the following people are stranded:

    Two Italian men and one Italian woman.

    Two French men and one French woman.

    Two German men and one German woman.

    Two Greek men and one Greek woman.

    Two British men and one British woman.

    Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman.

    Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman.

    Two Chinese men and one Chinese woman.

    Two Irish men and one Irish woman.

    Two American men and one American woman.

    One month later, on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:

    One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

    The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a ménage à trois.

    The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.

    The two Greek men are sleeping together and the Greek woman is cooking and cleaning for them.

    The two British men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the British woman.

    The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming to another island.

    The two Japanese have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.

    The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, liquor store, restaurant, and laundry, and have gotten the woman pregnant in order to supply more employees for their stores.

    The two Irish men divided the island into north and south and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets somewhat foggy after a few pints of coconut whisky. However, they're satisfied because the British aren't having any fun.

    The two American men are contemplating suicide, because the American woman will not shut up and complains relentlessly about her body, the true nature of feminism, what the sun is doing to her skin, how she can do anything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, and how her relationship with her mother is the root cause of all her problems, and why didn't they bring a damn cell phone so they could call 911 and get them all rescued off this forsaken deserted island in the middle of freaking nowhere so she can get her nails done and go shopping.
  2. avatar

    Doctor Herbie

    User Infostatus offline523 Points


    Kudos to you, VW66!


    Reply from vw66:

    Thank you Greg, you are a man of many surprizes and all around cool guy. image

  3. avatar

    Jim Douglas Jr

    User Infostatus offline200 Points


    I may need some photos, just for reference you know.

    Original comment »


    Reply from vw66:

    Dammit, and I just gave away my strapless number. To be honest, it didn't really fit me anymore.
  4. avatar

    Jim Douglas Jr

    User Infostatus offline200 Points


    You are loved. Well, parts of you are.


    Reply from vw66:

    LOL Well it's nice to know I'm not a total loss.


Born and raised in Oklahoma, of Lebanese and Irish descent, I grew up in an artistic household with a Mom as an interior designer and a Dad as a jazz musician. I love to study other countries and cultures and am fascinated in the history of damn near everything. I'm a writer/photographer (far from stable, but oh, so much fun), and a ghost town hunter by night. I play the piano and trumpet, like to sketch in charcoals and pen-and-ink, and have been everything from TV editor to a cartoonist in my life of careers. I live in a small town near the city in a house I restored that was built by my Grandfather 70 years ago. My personality is unpredictable, and I use obscure gestures and references in my humor that alienate most people I meet. I secretly get a kick out of that.
My Contact Info:
[email protected]


Slapping old ladies and running away. Blowing up bridges in Madison County. Schmaltzing. Lying to priests. Getting into fist fights with Quakers. Cleaning my bathroom floors with small woodland creatures. Sending threatening letters to Charles Manson and putting other people's name and address on them.


Using my brain, and trying not to be an asshole. A lost art for most people today.